What to Do to Get Out of Twitter Gulag

06Jun12

It’s been almost a week and I’m still in Twitter Gulag. I keep trying to figure out what I’m going to do to get out. I’ve emailed Twitter, replied to their help desk inquiry and been pretty patient, for me.

I think, I think I’m just going to have to give in and be a liberal.

Okay…so Twitter here’s what I’ll do.

I promise to…

1) Vote for President Obama’s re-election in November. As many times as possible.

2) Become part of Occupy Wall Street and tweet about corporate greed on my smart phone.

3) Demand all corporations need to be taxed 100%, NATO needs to be gotten rid of and all education needs to be free. On my smart phone.

4) Start watching MSNBC morning, noon and night. Voluntarily.

5) Watch all Michael Moore films. Voluntarily.

6) Follow Keith Olbermann, Roseanne and Michael Moore on Twitter. Voluntarily.

7) Get rid of my four Andrew Breitbart memorial shirts and replace them with Che, Mao, Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro and Vladimir Putin shirts.

8) Buy 10 Obama “Hope” shirts. And one hoodie.

9) Scream whenever John Boehner pops on TV. And Paul Ryan. And Rand Paul. And Michele Bachmann. And Sarah Palin.

10) Swear I get a “tingle up my leg” whenever the President talks.

11) Say President Reagan was in favor of the Buffet Tax.

12) Shrug when I hear the Senate hasn’t passed a budget, because we all know it’s those damn Republicans’ fault.

13) Laugh at David Letterman. Voluntarily.

14) Swear Woodrow Wilson is the best president ever. Outside of our current one.

15) Get rid of my gun, but hire an armed bodyguard.

16) Blame Bush for everything.

Basically do my best imitation of this:

Will that get me out? Maybe? Hopefully? Please? With sugar and a cherry on top?

Ppppppllllllleeeeeeeaaaaassssseeeeeeee?

You can’t say no to that can you? CAN YOU?????????



2 Responses to “What to Do to Get Out of Twitter Gulag”

  1. 1 J. Alfred

    Great post. Found your blog while researching the Twitter gulag. I am in there myself (twice) right now.

    Misfit Politics is cool too, I read it often.

    Anyway, thanks! Great stuff on here.

    James

  2. 2 glume

    Having read this I thought it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you spending some time
    and energy to put this short article together.
    I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments.
    But so what, it was still worthwhile!


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