What to Do to Get Out of Twitter Gulag
It’s been almost a week and I’m still in Twitter Gulag. I keep trying to figure out what I’m going to do to get out. I’ve emailed Twitter, replied to their help desk inquiry and been pretty patient, for me.
I think, I think I’m just going to have to give in and be a liberal.
Okay…so Twitter here’s what I’ll do.
I promise to…
1) Vote for President Obama’s re-election in November. As many times as possible.
2) Become part of Occupy Wall Street and tweet about corporate greed on my smart phone.
3) Demand all corporations need to be taxed 100%, NATO needs to be gotten rid of and all education needs to be free. On my smart phone.
4) Start watching MSNBC morning, noon and night. Voluntarily.
5) Watch all Michael Moore films. Voluntarily.
6) Follow Keith Olbermann, Roseanne and Michael Moore on Twitter. Voluntarily.
7) Get rid of my four Andrew Breitbart memorial shirts and replace them with Che, Mao, Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro and Vladimir Putin shirts.
8) Buy 10 Obama “Hope” shirts. And one hoodie.
9) Scream whenever John Boehner pops on TV. And Paul Ryan. And Rand Paul. And Michele Bachmann. And Sarah Palin.
10) Swear I get a “tingle up my leg” whenever the President talks.
11) Say President Reagan was in favor of the Buffet Tax.
12) Shrug when I hear the Senate hasn’t passed a budget, because we all know it’s those damn Republicans’ fault.
13) Laugh at David Letterman. Voluntarily.
14) Swear Woodrow Wilson is the best president ever. Outside of our current one.
15) Get rid of my gun, but hire an armed bodyguard.
16) Blame Bush for everything.
Basically do my best imitation of this:
Will that get me out? Maybe? Hopefully? Please? With sugar and a cherry on top?
Filed under: Politics, Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Tags: Attempted Humor, End Twitter Gulag, Misfit Politics, Politics, Sarcasm, Twitter Gulag